Why is virginity referred to as a loss?
Virginity. Purity. Sanctity. The lie atop all lies.
The first sexual encounter should be celebrated as a new beginning, the commencement speech of sexual activity. It’s an entry into a new chapter, the celebration of a new life as an adult.
Yes, it is usually not under ideal circumstances as lust and peer pressure triumph over love. Hell, my first time meant nothing to me. I was so wrapped up in getting it over with, so that I could magically turn into a man that I didn't care who it was with. Which speaks to my ignorance as a teenager and weakness as a person. But I was not a kid anymore and I needed to prove it. Oh the stupidity. However, I also don't hang onto the nostalgia like Linus's blanket. Sex is how people find themselves. So much of who we are and who we want to be is wrapped up in sexuality. I’m not advocating for young people to rush into this milestone, even though in my experience, the movies of yesteryear portraying 18 year olds having sex and doing drugs is in reality more like 15 and 16. Virginity is the suburbia of sexuality, and we’ve all seen American Beauty.
The other element here is control. Virginity isn't equal either. There is a continental rift between a young woman and young man. For a boy it's a right of passage, and a milestone making the 'loss' more like shedding a snakeskin. For a girl, the word 'loss' is filled with shame. By saving ourselves and building up the idea that purity is connected with sex allows whoever it is given to a psychological power they have not earned. Fuck all that. But "Power can only be given" true, but so are objects and ideas. If we give power to the idea of virginity, then ultimately the person who takes it inherits the power. Men are incapable of taking on the responsibility of holding that power, as proven by patriarchal societies. Looking at it as a loss creates shame. Growth can't come from inaction. The evolution of someone's character does not come from holding back but by forging ahead.
In this new era, sex should be celebrated, not demonized. In the journey to finding your true self, exploration will come with the territory. Fuck purity. Perfection too. Those are illusions. Once that first time is out of the way, you gain something. You gain the right to do whatever and whoever you want. You gain the confidence to go forth and be a human being. Exercise that given right, and if anyone tries to take that away, fuck ‘em, it’s their loss.